The Names Have Been Changed To Protect The Idiots

Rodney Williams

Assignment: Impersonate Mr. Rodney Williams and secure monetary compensation from his insurer.

This recorded statement was sent in by an adjuster from Florida. We changed the names, but not the stupidity

Adjuster: Today is November 17, 2010 in regards to an incident that occurred November 8, 2010. I have Rodney Williams on the line discussing the matter. Rodney, you understand this conversation is being recorded?

Claimant: Uh, yeah.

Adjuster: Okay, and you give permission to do so?

Claimant: Yeah.

Adjuster: Okay just go ahead and state your name and spell your last name please.

Claimant: Okay, Rodney Williams. W-I-L-L-I-A-M-S.

Adjuster: And, what is your residential address?

Claimant:  Uh…okay…1087 Norfolk…Boulevard.

Adjuster: Is this in Gainesville?

Claimant: Gainesville, FL.

Adjuster: And what’s the ZIP Code?

Claimant: 32609.

Adjuster: Okay. And what is your date of birth?

Claimant: Um…hold on…Let me get this…

Adjuster: You don’t know your date of birth, sir?

Claimant: No, um, I know my date of birth.

Adjuster: Yeah, what’s your date of birth?

Claimant: My-well this, um…this is, this is uh, Luther Davis. Uh…Williams don’t have a phone, and-

Adjuster: Who am I talking to, sir?

Claimant: Luther Davis.

Adjuster: Okay, I’m speaking as if I’m talking to Rodney Williams.

Claimant: No, no, no, no.

Adjuster: Then why are you-

Claimant: Rodney Williams, he don’t have a phone, and I’ve been trying to get-get-get him going so he can get his butt back to work.

Adjuster: Okay, well…I need to speak with Luther, then. What’s his name?

Claimant: His name is Rodney Williams. Hey, listen-

Adjuster: Your name’s Luther?

Claimant: Yeah. Listen, uh, you want me to get him-uh, want me to go over there and get him to-he don’t have a phone. A-an-and he’s having a lot of trouble.

Adjuster: Okay, I need to speak with Luther since this claim, I mean, I need to speak with Rodney since he’s-

Claimant: Rodney Williams. Okay. Well, I tell you what, um, what’s a good time to call back? I gotta, uh, get over there and get him, uh, get-get him the phone and then get back with you. What, what number should I call?

Adjuster: What’s your last name?

Claimant: Davis. Okay, what number should I call?

Adjuster: 555

Claimant: 555…

Adjuster: 1568

Claimant: …568

Adjuster: Now, who are you, in relation with Rodney?

Claimant: Uh, I’m a co-worker, friend, boss-whatever. Hey, but uh…

Adjuster: Okay, hold on one second, sir. All right-

Claimant: Hey-

Adjuster: All right, I need to wrap this, uh, conversation up, okay. Okay, again, you were aware this conversation was recorded?

Claimant: Uh, yeah, I was aware it was recorded. But, uh, I wasn’t aware that, uh, you thought I was Rodney. No, I’m not-

Adjuster: Right. That’s why I asked you to state your name and spell your last name, and you, you said you that were Rodney Williams and you spelled his name-

Claimant: No, oh, no, I got all his information, because, I got to run over, now I got to run over there but that’s okay, he don’t have a phone or nothin.’ I’m tryin’, tryin’ to get him going. But I, uh, I gotta give him all this information.

Adjuster: Okay, well have, have Rodney Williams give me a call, sir.

Claimant: Okay, at this number.

Adjuser: Yes, sir.

Claimant: Okay. And, what’s your name again?

Adjuster: Mike Dexter.

Claimant: Okay, Mike…D-E-X-T-E-R…Okay, I’m gonna get right on that because this is…

Adjuster: Okay, have him give me a call, sir.

Claimant: So we can finish this up.

Adjuster: Okay, thank you.

Claimant: Bye.

Adjuster: Goodbye.

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